Humans first, National Merit Scholars second

I’ve always struggled with the fact that I may not be the highest academically achieving student at Naperville North.

Perhaps it started when I elected to take AP World History, a freshman class. By second semester, I became desperate for my latest academic conquest. I was in and out of school, facing emotional breakdowns. It was always verging on the side of pathetic when I would catch a lucky break, literally–seeing a picture amid the mass of size 8 font.

Perhaps it started when, as a sophomore, I elected to move up from regular math to honors, my dream since I was a wee third grader, hoping to escape the shadow of my older brother. I could feel the pressure to succeed. The constant stream of, “Maybe you weren’t meant for this class,” from one too many teachers only added to the stress.

Now, I’m a junior. I’m taking the same standardized tests that my senior friends have already taken, and my entire existence is encapsulated in one number–just like every person who has sat with a Scantron, nervously glancing back and forth between a clock and piece of paper for three hours straight.

But the truth is that nobody is just a number.

In September of this year, 21 seniors at Naperville North were announced as National Merit Scholar Semi-Finalists, according to the Huskie Howler. The qualifying test, the Preliminary Scholastic Aptitude Test (PSAT), was issued in the fall of their junior year; it is used to determine eligibility for a number of scholarships, the most coveted being the $2,500 scholarship, according to the National Merit Scholarship Corporation.

About 50,000 students of the 1.5 million that take the PSAT are either chosen as Semi-Finalists or Commended Scholars. Only 16,000 of those are Semi-Finalists.

As numbers are emphasized more and more, the desperation to break the idea that every student moving through their high school career is categorized by numbers increases.

It was a relief to see the diversity that is so heavily accented, especially with the cut-throat reputation that Naperville schools have developed.

Kasia Pryzbyl, simply by talking about what she loves to do, showed me what makes her who she is sans test scores.

She is an officer for the Junior Statesmen of America,  a travel enthusiast and she loves to take pictures. But get this: she’s a National Merit Scholar Semi-Finalist as well.

It’s become a common trend that students are no longer seen as people, and our relationships are becoming less and less important because we have put numbers on such a pedestal.

“It doesn’t feel great to be stared at by people,” Pryzbyl said. “What if I mess up?”

Students purposefully distance themselves from those who are deemed, “out of their league.” This act of marveling at the intelligence of others, never taking the time to understand personalities and emotions, is the very foundation for the deterioration of our relationships.

Perhaps a reason for this is the fear of failing.

However, students don’t have to be victims of their success. It takes a lot to realize one’s own capacity. Senior Annie Hu, a musician and, yes, a National Merit Scholar, understands this capacity in herself and others.

“I’m a person that thinks everyone has their own strengths,” Hu said.

In a 2013 TED Talk, Psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth talked about the idea of “grit”: a phenomenon that explains the importance of sticking with every problem you have with extreme stamina–a key to success.

“Grit is passion and perseverance,” Duckworth said in her speech. “Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

Students constantly forget the idea of grit. Success is not determined by your natural talent to exceed in standardized tests. In fact, like Duckworth (and now myself), it could be argued that natural talent is indeed nonexistent.

There is a reason our relationships are deteriorating. There is a reason why students walk the halls fearful of failure instead of hopeful for success.

There is a reason why a light-hearted and kind person like Pryzbyl said to me, “It was nice just to be able to talk and get everything out.”

Here at Naperville North, we understand that there is a great deal of pressure to excel, to exceed the national standards and to be better than everyone else. But these are not individual goals.

We should strive to create an atmosphere that catalyzes the positivity of our futures; this goal is absolutely skewed. We are not numbers. We are so much more than that.